what to do when you feel spiteful for example i have been left out of like friendship groups and i always feel really resentful and spiteful what should i do?
Feeling spiteful and resentful after being left out is a very human experience, and Jain teachings offer a clear path through it. The core idea is to transform negative impulses into positive ones. When you feel jealous or resentful of others' friendships, try to practice Maitri Bhāvanā (friendship) and Pramod Bhāvanā (appreciation) [3]. Instead of focusing on your own exclusion, try to feel genuine happiness that your friends are doing well—this can turn your unhappiness into happiness and help the feeling of jealousy disappear [1]. The teaching is to consider everyone as a friend, which stops hostility [1].
Practically, you can respond to your feelings without letting them control you. When resentment arises, you can use calming techniques like saying the Navakār Mantra, taking deep breaths, counting to 10, or thinking good thoughts [3]. It's also important to forgive those who hurt you, as holding onto hurt only hurts yourself first [4]. Forgiveness doesn't mean you don't take action; it means you respond without anger, blame, or negativity [2][4]. Finally, remember the principle "to have a friend, you have to be a friend"—focus on being kind, generous, and polite to others, which naturally attracts friendship [5].
Sources
- $JES_401_Jain_Philosophy_and_Practice_2_Level_4_Book_000161 · p.97 ↗
- $JES_105_Being_a_Jain_24_X_7_Journey_Towards_A_Happy_and_Peaceful_Life_000109 · p.12 ↗
- $JES_102_Jainism_I_Basic_of_Jainism_Level_1_Book_000103 · p.16 ↗
- $JES_106_My_Jain_Values_Journal_000111 · p.5 ↗
- $JES_104_Jain_Moral_Skits_Level_1_Book_000107 · p.15 ↗
Related questions
I hear you — feeling left out despite trying your best to be a good friend is exhausting and painful. The knowledge base offers some helpful perspectives on friendship and feeling accepted. One key idea from the context is that **"to have a friend, you have to be a friend"** [2]. This means treating others the way you want to be treated — being generous, not always insisting on your own way, and avoiding selfishness. The skit in the source shows that someone who always goes first, takes the biggest cookie, or acts like they're the smartest pushes friends away, and that kindness is what actually leads to lasting friendship [2]. Additionally, the college guide emphasizes that **your sense of self should come from within, not from others' approval** [4]. If people don't respect and like you for who you are, they may not be the right crowd for you — you deserve to feel accepted by those around you [4]. It also advises trusting people gradually, getting to know their personalities and intentions before trusting them completely, and going with your gut feeling when unsure [5]. It's also perfectly okay to embrace your introverted side and make time for yourself — you don't have to be extremely social if that's not what you need [5]. In general, feeling left out can sometimes mean the group isn't the right fit, not that you're failing as a friend. It may help to reflect on whether your efforts are being reciprocated, communicate openly with your friends about how you feel, and also invest in yourself and your own interests so your sense of worth isn't tied to any one group.
Based on the provided context, Devs (divine beings) do not have organs and blood in the same way humans do. The texts describe Devs as capable of "vikriya" (self-mutation), meaning they can transform their bodies at will, including creating a complete body from all parts of their body [1]. They can also perform activities like speaking, eating, and excreting in two ways—through a specific part of the body or through the whole body [1]. The context also clarifies that Devs have a "bhava sthiti" (birth or genus-specific life span) and "bhavayushya" (birth-specific life span), meaning they do not reincarnate in the same genus, unlike humans who have "kaya sthiti" and "addhvayushya" [2]. Additionally, when Devs fight wars, they transform into animals like bulls or buffalos rather than using actual animals [3]. This indicates their bodies are not fixed like human bodies with organs and blood, but are instead mutable and capable of transformation.
Based on the Jain scriptures in the provided context, we should not eat food that grows underground because such foods are classified as **Anantkaya** (aggregate plant life), which contains innumerable living beings (jivas) [1]. The context lists 32 such forbidden foods, including tubers (Bhumikand), carrots, garlic, ginger, turmeric, radish, yams, and sprouted pulses [1]. These are considered "one-sensed" beings with infinite lives in a single body, and consuming them destroys countless souls [1]. The scriptures state that we are not endowed with the sense of taste to kill these innumerable living beings, and doing so for taste will result in losing the organ of taste in the next birth [1]. Additionally, the Acharanga Sutra explains that food placed on earth-bodied beings (sachit earth) is considered faulty and unacceptable, as it involves harm to earth-bodied beings [2]. By abstaining from eating these underground foods, one gains the merit (punya) of saving the lives of infinite living beings [1].
In Jain philosophy, the earth itself is considered a living being (Prithvikāya), a one-sensed (ekendriya) being with only the sense of touch. This includes seemingly inanimate forms like clay, sand, metal, and coral, which are all considered to have earthly bodies and are thus alive [2][3]. The top few inches of soil are not considered "dead" in this framework; rather, the entire earth body is a living entity, and the individual organisms within it are part of a larger cluster of life [1]. Pebbles and sand are also considered alive as part of the earth-bodied (Prithvikāya) category of one-sensed beings [1][2]. However, a cluster of living organisms, such as a lump of sand, can become non-living when it comes into contact with a "weapon" or other fatal thing. This includes mixing with another type of sand (Swakaya), mixing with water (Parkaya), or a combination of both (Ubhayakaya), which is fatal for the organisms in both [1]. So, while sand on a beach is considered alive, it would become lifeless if mixed with a different type of sand or water, as this contact is fatal to the organisms within it [1].
No, you can't just ask a Kevali (omniscient being) for future stock prices and guarantee profits. While Jain scriptures affirm that Kevalis possess ultimate, perfect knowledge (Keval Jnana) covering past, present, and future [1][2], their omniscience isn't a tool for worldly speculation. The texts emphasize that Kevalis attain this state after completely destroying all karmas, and their knowledge is focused on spiritual truths and the path to liberation, not on providing financial predictions [1][2]. Moreover, the entire framework of Jainism teaches that worldly gains and losses are governed by karma, not by consulting enlightened beings. The purpose of omniscience is to guide beings toward liberation from the cycle of birth and death, not to enable material profit [3]. Even if a Kevali could theoretically know future events, using that knowledge for stock trading would contradict the core teachings of detachment, equanimity, and non-attachment to worldly outcomes [3]. So practically, this isn't how the concept works — omniscience serves spiritual liberation, not market speculation.
Based on the sources, Mahavira was indeed aware of the previous Tirthankaras, particularly Parshva. His parents were followers of Parshva, the penultimate Tirthankara who lived about 250 years earlier, and Mahavira is described not as the founder of Jainism but as its "rejuvenator, propagator and exponent" of a tradition taught by Parshva and other omniscient teachers [5]. This indicates he was raised in a religious environment that recognized the lineage of Tirthankaras, including earlier ones like Adinath (Rshabha), who is mentioned as the first Tirthankara in the tradition [1]. As a child and youth, Mahavira led a princely but spiritually inclined life. He was born into a royal Kshatriya family in Kundalpur (part of the Vaishali republic) to King Siddhartha and Queen Trishala, and was named Vardhaman because the family's prosperity increased after his conception [3][4]. From early childhood, he was unusually intelligent, fearless, affectionate, and compassionate; he excelled at school with hardly any instruction needed, and showed courage by catching a snake and remaining unmoved by a giant monster [3][4]. He received a thorough education as a royal prince, studying the arts, the Vedas with their angas, and the whole range of Brahmanical learning [1]. He realized at an early age that worldly happiness is impermanent and based on the misery of others, so he planned to renounce the world, but he delayed doing so because he knew his parents would be sad; he married Princess Yashoda and had a daughter (per the Shvetambara tradition) before his parents passed away when he was 28 [3][4]. After their death, he renounced the world and pursued a life of severe austerities for twelve years before attaining Kevalinship [1][5].