How do you deal with a fact that you could have, but couldn't save a person?

When you could not save a close person or repay their favors, Jain teachings offer a clear path: the only way to truly become free of such obligations is to help that person understand and establish themselves in the true religion (dharma) as taught by the Omniscient (Kevali) [1]. Even if you served your parents daily with oils, baths, ornaments, and carried them on your shoulders, or gave all your wealth to a former benefactor, or even shifted a preceptor from a drought-stricken area to a good one or cured a fatal disease—none of these fully recompense the debt [1]. The debt is only cleared when you explain the true religion and its subtleties to them and help them become stable in it [1]. If they felt disappointed or you couldn't help them get on the right path, remember that grief and lamentation over the departed—crying "O mother! O father!"—is rooted in attachment (moha) and does not truly help anyone [4]. The wise person, like a deer that keeps far from a lion, should examine dharma and avoid sinful actions from afar [4]. A true friend is one who stops you from sin, leads you on the right path, and helps in times of need [3]. Since you cannot turn back time, the best you can do now is to cultivate good conduct, practice repentance for your lapses (as in the Pratikramana, asking forgiveness from all beings), and dedicate yourself to the true religion—this is the way to honor their memory and work toward your own spiritual progress [5].

Yes, it is possible to know the karmic debt of a person, but only at the highest stage of spiritual development. According to Jain philosophy, the soul is inherently capable of knowing everything, but its potentialities are obscured by the operation of Karma [1]. As a person begins to shed Karma through equanimity and spiritual practice, these potentialities become increasingly evident, allowing the soul to know more and more until it reaches the state of *Kewaljnän* (omniscience), where it knows everything [1]. At this Karmaless stage, the soul has full knowledge of all its past and present Karmas. However, for ordinary individuals, it is not possible to know exactly which Karmas will exert their effects or when they will mature. Some Karmas give an instant effect, while others take a long time or even many births to manifest [2]. The Karmas are divided into three categories: *Sanchit* (accumulated but not currently operative), *Vartamän* (present Karmas being acquired now), and *Uday* (operative Karmas that constitute destiny) [2]. While one can know the general principles of how Karma works—such as the eight main types of Karma and their 148 sub-divisions—the specific details of one's own karmic debt remain hidden until one attains omniscience [5].

In Jain philosophy, a death caused by someone else's carelessness is not attributed to a single cause, but rather to the collective interplay of five causal factors (Samavayi) that are always present for any event: Time (Kal), Intrinsic nature (Swabhav), Predestination (Niyati), Instrumental cause (Nimitta, which includes external beings/objects), and Karma (internal cause) along with Freewill (Purushärtha) [1]. So, it is not simply "due to the person's own karma" OR "due to another person's karma" — both are simultaneously at work. The careless person acts as the instrumental cause (Nimitta), while the deceased person's past karma determines the suffering they experience [1][5]. The context clarifies that the fruits of suffering are essentially a consequence of the soul's own past actions, whether performed in this birth or a previous one [5]. However, the person who caused the harm also generates new karma through their own negligence and intention, which they will bear consequences for [2]. Jain philosophy emphasizes that while all five causes are present, individual effort (Purushärtha) is the only one in our control, and it can change or eradicate one's karma [4]. Therefore, from a spiritual perspective, the person who died should reflect on their own karma and predestination, while the person who caused the harm is responsible for their own negligent actions and their karmic consequences [1].

This is a delicate family situation, and the key is to explain your family’s values to your children in a way that is honest, compassionate, and consistent, without undermining their mother. You can tell them that in our family, we follow the principle of *Ahimsa* (non-violence), which means we try to avoid causing harm or suffering to any living being [3]. Explain that eggs come from chickens, and the egg industry involves a lot of cruelty—hens are kept in tiny, crowded cages, are debeaked, and are treated like "egg-producing machines" [3][4]. Even unfertilized eggs support this industry, and a fertilized egg is the pre-birth stage of a chick [3][5]. So, for us, eating eggs is not in line with our commitment to compassion. Regarding the difference with your wife, it's important to be honest with your children without creating conflict. You can say something like: "Mommy and I have different views on this, and that's okay. We both love you very much. For me, following our Jain values of *Ahimsa* is very important, and that's why I choose not to eat eggs. You can make your own informed choice as you grow up, but I want to share with you why this matters to me." This approach respects your wife's autonomy while clearly communicating your own values and the reasoning behind them, allowing your children to understand the "why" rather than just a rule.

The Visahara Phulinga (also spelled Visahar Fullinga) mantra is a protective Jain hymn associated with Lord Parshvanatha. The core mantra is: **"Namiuna Pāsa Visahara Vasaha Jina Fulinga"** [1][5]. This is an 18-letter mantra considered effective against all types of pain and affliction, and it is implicit in stanza 18 of the Namiun Sutra [5]. There is also a longer version composed by Acharya Shri Mantung Suri that adds symbolic syllables: **"Om Rhim Shreem Arham Namiuna Pāsa Visahara Vasaha Jina Fuling Rhim Namaha"** [1][5]. In this version, "Om" symbolizes the five supreme entities, "Hrim" the three worlds, "Shrim" spiritual wealth, and "Arham" the worshipful one [5]. The mantra is said to pacify evil planetary effects, disease, epidemics, and acute fever when recited or held in the throat (remembered) [1][2][5].

Based on the provided context, the "Visahara Phulinga" mantra is a hymn dedicated to Lord Pārsva Nātha, who is attended by the deity Pārsva Yaksha. The mantra is believed to eliminate disturbances in the universe and destroy the poison of snakes and cobras. Lord Pārsva Nātha is described as an abode of auspiciousness and prosperity. The context states that a person who always remembers this hymn will be rid of misfortunes, fatal diseases, epidemics, and deadly fevers. Even a simple obeisance offered to Lord Pārsva Nātha is said to result in many good things, and because of these prayers, human beings and animals will not suffer from sickness and poverty. Furthermore, upon attaining right faith as preached by him, which is considered more valuable than the most precious heavenly jewels, living beings can easily attain the place of immortality. The hymn concludes with a prayer to the greatly renowned Lord Parśvanātha to bestow the seeds of attaining perfect knowledge in all future births.